The public are advised to buy tickets as swiftly as they can, because Dawn is convinced it won’t be long before she is far too doolally to perform it.

The evidence is there for all to see. She is already three quarters certifiably daft. The other quarter is utterly bewildered. And the remaining quarter simply can’t do maths. With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French of Cornwall shares how she has misguidedly spent her whole life vigorously attempting to be a fully functioning female human.

Her extraordinary lack of willpower, combined with an enviable knack for nosey parking and showing off, has driven her to grapple with the big stuff of life in public. 30 million minutes of life in fact. That’s how long she’s been alive.

Dawn says; “I’m sick with excitement about this solo tour. I am enjoying the fact that I can’t categorise exactly what it is, but it’s somewhere between a monologue, a play, and an autobiographical slide show with a few funnies thrown in. At last, I have had one of my three genie wishes granted, which is to work with Michael Grandage. The other two wishes are as yet unfulfilled. They are secret obviously, but suffice to say, one is about Barack Obama in Speedos. The other is about me in speedos, with cheesecake involved… Enough said.”

30 Million Minutes is produced by Phil McIntyre Entertainments. The show is directed by Michael Grandage.  Set and Costume Design by Lez Brotherston. Lighting Design by Willie Williams.